did the math and today, July 4, marks my 270th day into this pregnancy. been growing this here baby for two hundred seventy days with 10 days until my doctor-given due date (and 5 days until my self-calculated due date, which would make it my 275th day of pregnancy but whatevs).
in a lot of ways i am so ready to meet this baby, and in a lot of ways i'm so not ready to have three littles, but i am 100% ready to not add more days to my growing total of days i've been pregnant.
cause it's July. my feet and lower legs are swollen, nothing fits me (and i mean nothing). my bladder is the size of a tiny water balloon (probably) and yet i'm supposed to drink a gallon of water each day? AS IF! i wear the minimum acceptable amount of clothing each day due to the heat and everything digging into me. slip-on shoes only for me at this point. have to slip underwear on one handed because somehow that's the only way to get it on.
i can't sleep. i have heartburn every time i lay down at night (something i've only experienced while pregnant). i feel like i've gained significant face weight. I've gained 30 lbs so far this pregnancy and i think about 5 of those pounds are in my face. laugh all you want.
bending over to pick something up is also laughable (and i've become really good at picking things up with my feet). rolling over in bed is a chore (and something my uncomfortable body compells me to do far too often).
i've had a solid four hour stretch of contractions that were 4 minutes apart and lasting about a minute. then i tried to sleep and unfortunately was able to. that was about a week and a half ago. my mom thinks i'll go into labor on thursday because that will have been two weeks since my false labor. i'd be fine with that.
i have contractions throughout each day and each one gives me false hope that it's actually for real this time. never ever had a single contraction when expecting ezra, had some with colter, but this one has given me a LOT of them. i guess that's how it usually goes. i actually like how they feel, i like trying to practice my hypno-relaxation during them and silently hope for more. the past few weeks sex has given me lots of contractions (and was what triggered my false labor from the other day... TMI?) so if it were up to me i'd do that all day every day until this baby decides to show up. *eye roll* to having so little time for it! also i think justin feels a tiny bit used in my newfound enthusiasm but he got us into this so he can get us out of it, amiright? high fives.
i know this has been like 98% complaining but at this point the complaints entertain me and make me think i'm kinda funny which does cheer my pregnant self up a bit. i just want my body back. i'm ready for this glorious hostage situation to be done. i'm really just done. done with the pregnancy waddle. done with feeling like a beached whale. done with waiting to meet my new son, which i've actually become pretty excited about these past few weeks. that may make you chuckle but with everything going on i really hadn't thought too much about what it will be like to add a new member to our family. to have another boy to take care of. it's just kinda been survival mode. but i think i'm ready. and he will be here soon. and then i can write ANOTHER blog post complaining about breastfeeding and sore nipples and more sleepless nights and more laundry and less free time and added hassle leaving the house and leaky diapers and mystery cries. all these pregnancy and post-pregnancy inconveniences that all indicate how massively, ridiculously blessed i am.
i can't wait. get here soon, baby trey.
cause as much as i sit here and wonder how my heart can possibly have more room in it for you, i know that it does. as much as i wonder how you i can possibly love you as much as your older brothers i know i will. that's just how it works. as much as i sit here and wonder how you can possibly be as cute and amazing and adorable and 100% worth every ounce of time and energy and money i've spent on your impending arrival as your brothers were, i know that you are. so get here. so i can be right. so i can hold you and love on you and cry over you and show you everything of how i feel about you.
also, you're coming to philly with your dad and me next month so i'd really love for you to be at least like 4 weeks old at that point, okay? deal? deal. love you. see you soon (and i mean that as a demand and also a sentiment).
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