Colter turns 1 this month- oh my.

You guys, how has it been a year (almost) since my little Colter was laid on my chest for the first time after the most amazing experience of my life? I don't know where the time went (stupid time) but I have been making an effort to write more down and this is what I came up with tonight:

    

I can't believe my little cocobay will turn 1 this month. He's my little buddy. I LOVE when he flashes his huge gummy smile with eight white little teeth poking through. I love his light, soft, long hair that gets all tangled up in the back after he's slept. When it gets tangled on the sides too- even better. I love how he loves to walk around, very carefully yet with confidence, usually with a toy in each hand. I love the feeling of victory each time he pees in his little potty when I just knew he had to. I love his poor long fingernails that only get cut if I manage to bite them off while he breastfeeds since it's impossible any other way with him. I love his rosy pink cheeks after a long nap and the way he wraps his arms around my neck when I've just been away for too long (usually like 10 minutes). I love the way he unloads food off his plate and onto the floor if he is no longer interested in eating. I love how he drinks so thirstily from a cup but can't figure out straws or sippys or bottles. I love the way he is content until he sees me and immediately wants and expects all of his needs to be taken care of. I love the way he ruffles Ezra's feathers- grabbing toys from him, climbing on him, invading his personal space. I love how he refuses to lay on his back for a rare diaper change that almost always results in a lot of frustration for both of us. I love the way he plays with my face while he breastfeeds- touching my teeth, pulling my nose, puts his whole hand in my mouth. Wait- did I say love? I also love hearing his sweet little laugh. He doesn't always laugh or smile and it's just the best thing in the world when he does. 

And he turns one this month. And I already know how quickly the next birthdays will come and it makes my heart ache. So to cope I will try my best to remember the small moments and cute little behaviors that make my boys who they are, in hopes of holding onto some small pieces of them for just a little longer. 

But for now I'm going to roll over, snuggle this sleeping baby next to me and really take in each breath he breathes... because life is too short and these moments pass by too quickly. And usually I'm too tired or distracted to really take in the magnificent reality that is mine. The amazing little beings I have been entrusted with. I try to not let the huge responsibility of being a parent hang over my head so much I can't see what's in front of me (which is usually a couple naked boys because that's how we roll around here). I think all we can really do as parents is to love our children and really have RELATIONSHIPS with them and everything will be alright. 

Now, on to that snuggling.