Our Diaper-free Journey

Disclaimer: if you don't practice EC, don't want to, or whatever, that does not mean I think you're a terrible mom (in fact, I'm sure you're a really great mom). I don't judge anyone who does not choose this way. I simply want to share my experience and hope that it may encourage others to explore their options. 

While I was pregnant with Colter, I came across the idea of "natural infant hygiene, or "elimination communication." I bought a book on it, and I was very intrigued with the idea of not having my baby in diapers until he conventionally potty trained at 2-3 years old. But after Colter was born, I was so focused on establishing breastfeeding that I didn't want to think about EC and I felt like he never displayed any of the signs or signals they say babies do when they need to eliminate. So it wasn't until 3-4 weeks ago that I came across a list of "25 things to do before I turn 25" that I had made and I happily crossed a few things off the list: breastfeeding, VBAC, but there was also EC on there and I decided to really give it a try and see what happened. I found a YouTube video http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B6sKTdp9zwU&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DB6sKTdp9zwU# summarizing what EC is all about and how it works and my interest in EC was rekindled. So I decided I would try to pay more attention to what Colter was trying to communicate with me and see how it went. 

What it is

Okay so let me back up. Natural infant hygiene is, in my words, the belief that infants are aware of their elimination needs from birth and they communicate with caretakers of their need to eliminate. It is a practice used by roughly fifty percent of the human population. So it's not some weird theory that doesn't really work. Every baby is born aware of these needs and want these needs met just like they communicate that they are hungry or tired. It's just that we as parents don't tune in to what our babies are telling us. It is believed that after about 6 months of age, babies who are exclusively diapered stop signaling because their communication has never been reinforced. So it's best to start before six months. 

If you are interested in EC, you'll have to read more about it in depth elsewhere. My goal here is to document OUR journey so I will try to keep summaries of how the practice works brief. But some of the signs baby needs to eliminate include fussiness (when baby is fed and not hungry but still fussy), they give you a certain "look" and you just know, they are loud and then get suddenly quiet or they are quiet and get fussy, etc. 

Getting started

To get started with EC you need time with the baby to be diaper free. You take the diaper off, put them on a waterproof mat, and observe what signals they give you right before they pee or poop. Once you observe for a while its usually pretty easy to catch on to these signals and some babies signal more strongly than others. I started to catch onto how Colter signals. 

The best way to start is by taking them to the potty first thing in the morning and right after waking up from naps. So I took Colter first thing in the morning to start, and the first three mornings he pooped in the potty, right off the bat. It's usually easiest to hold under their thighs and usually I straddle the toilet and sit behind him so he feels secure while he goes, and I make a cueing sound. For pee it's a "psssstttt" and for poop I just make farting sounds and that usually works. Haha. Sometimes he goes right off the bat. Other times he makes it clear that he doesn't need to go and I take him off. This is a gentle practice. I don't force anything on him. 

How its going

Anyway, so we got off to a great start. I now almost always have "a catch" (when he goes in the potty) but we still have a few "misses" each day. They almost always happen when he's playing on the floor, trying to crawl around or whatever, and I am either not paying attention or I notice the signal but am not sure if he has that look on his face out of frustration of not being able to reach a toy or if he needs to pee. But I am getting better and some days are better than others. There have been days where I have five or six catches and those days are amazing, and I have had days where we are just out of sync (which usually happens if I miss the first potty of the day chance) and I don't have one catch. Luckily those days have been rare. I feel like I am getting so much more attuned to him and I love that. 

I know what you're thinking, this sounds gross and unnecessarily messy. And you know, motherhood is messy, any mom will tell you. Poop and pee don't bother me anymore. In fact exclusively breastfed poop smells sweet and I don't mind it at all. So I don't mind cleaning up the misses. But the beauty of EC is you can do it as much or as little as you want. It is recommended to put a diaper of some sort on your baby if you aren't able to pay attention to their signals. So we still use diapers at night and at times during the day but we have only been doing this a few weeks and are already way less dependent on diapers and that's nice. 

Colter has gone potty at our house, at Justin's parents' house, at our friends' house, and at church. I keep him in a diaper but if I feel he needs to go, I give him the opportunity and that has worked great for us. 

Nighttime EC

One aspect of EC I hadn't wanted to get into too badly was the aspect of nighttime EC. Getting up in the middle of the night, unbuttoning his pajamas, peeling off his diaper, and taking him to the potty did not sound appealing to me. But tonight (and I'm writing this at 4:30 am) Colter woke up at about 12:30 am and I felt his diaper and it was dry. But I didn't want to take him potty. So I just nursed him in my bed and we fell back asleep (checked his diaper again and he had peed). He woke again at about 3 so I nursed him and we fell back asleep (he was fussy even after nursing so I laid him on my chest to get him to sleep). He woke about 30 minutes later and was fussy so I was like FINE I'll take you! And I took him potty. He peed a TON and I nursed him for a minute but he fell back asleep easily and happily. I got so excited because I feel like this is a breakthrough. He is no longer content to just pee in his diaper and is much happier if I take him to the potty. YAY! 

Why I love it

There are many benefits of EC but my favorite one so far is just how natural it feels. No mammal wants to eliminate in the same place it lives/sleeps. It's unnatural to do so. Babies are no different. I love that I have another thing to try when Colter is fussy and I don't know why. I don't have to walk around bouncing him for a half hour because he is fussy. I know what he needs and I take care of it. He's happy. I'm happy. 

The communication between us is so much stronger now. It is a bond that you simply cannot get by ignoring your baby's elimination signals. I cannot describe the powerful joy I get from reading his signals and helping him pee or poop in the potty. I seriously get so excited when he goes. You'd probably laugh watching me. 

But there are a number of other benefits as well. It is incredibly eco-friendly. It's easy once you get used to it. Many parents begin EC from birth and by the time their babies are Colter's age they don't even need diapers anymore at all. I won't have to "potty train" him in a few years. That's a lot of money saved that I don't have to spend on diapers. 

But really those other benefits are secondary to the best benefit which is communicating with and understanding my baby on a whole new level. 

Final thoughts

Now that I'm a believer in EC I am remembering the things I thought while Ezra was a baby. How I hated changing his diapers because he never wanted to lay on his back while I wiped him up. What baby likes that? No babies do! They always try to roll over and crawl away. Naturally! That's because they weren't designed to be in diapers. They just weren't. 

I also remember when I was conventionally potty training Ezra how frustrated I would get when he wouldn't go in the potty and mind you, Ezra was pretty easy to potty train compared to most. But I remember reminding myself "I trained him to go in his diaper and now all of the sudden I'm mad at him for not going in a potty? That doesn't seem fair". With EC, there is no retraining required. 

Babies are so much more aware and capable than we give them credit. They are always trying to tell us something and its up to us to listen to them.